Genesis Coupe owner seduced by the dark side

waz

Registered Member
I posted this over at Genesis Coupe.com:

Well on February 27, 2016, after owning my 2010 3.8 GT Coupe for almost 6 years, I succumbed to the dark side and became the proud lessee of a 2015 3.8 Ultimate Genesis Sedan.

Holy guano, Batman...the car drives itself! It steers itself! it stops itself! It flashes a Bat signal on the ground as I approach it! and if I download the right app, it'll do my taxes by April 15th (OK - I'm kiddin' about that last part).

The ride is supple, like Olga Korbut on steroids. The door closes with a whispered "thunk", as opposed to my Coupe, whose closing door emits a "clang" like slamming the hatch on a submarine. The steering wheel is covered in unicorn hide, as soft as Elle Macpherson's left hiney cheek. The 8 speed automatic transmission shifts like it's stirring honey. The list of painful metaphors could go on for a while.

3 months ago I would have never thought I would drive such a plush "old man's car" as the GS, but then I realized 3 things:

1) I am an old man! At 57, if I was ever gonna get a luxury barge... er, car, I'd better make it now, before I retire and have to live off of cat food on crackers and baked beans.

2) Despite my eligibility for AARP, I have 2 monstrously tall teenage kids (13 & 14 years old) whom I have to pick up from school, and lately (since their last growth spurt) they have been fighting over the seating arrangement in my Coupe - the loser gets the rear package shelf...er, seat.

3) The February lease deals on left over 2015 Genesis sedans were incredible and not likely to be seen again in my lifetime.

Apparently there's not a huge number of people who want to spend $50K on a Hyundai, despite all the glowing reviews favorably comparing the Genesis to Lexus GS, Beemer 5 series, Audi A6, and MB E class, so:
a) the discounts were astronomical (almost $10 grand on my car,
and up to $15 large on 5.0 V8s),
b) the "money factor" (car salesmen-ese for "interest rate") was
dirt cheap, near 2%, and...
c) the car had been sitting on the lot for almost a year, so the sales
manager was so eager to sell it that he threw in the "stealer
prep" package (nitrogen in the tires, window tint, miraculous
molecular fusion paint sealant, etc.) that is worth (so they say)
$1995, for free!

They were so ready to get rid of the thing that I made the entire sales force dance the Macarena on the show room floor, and had the GM push a peanut with his nose around the used car lot. I'm so ashamed, but in a gleeful way.

On top of all that I finagled a set of all weather floor mats for zero, zilch, nada dolores! I'm such a cheap bastidge! Word has gotten out, and now car salesmen flee at my approach, like cockroaches from a flashlight. (Sorry for the comparison, all you "auto procurers" out there).

So how much, you ask, is it for this post-modern, technological marvel that has often been mistaken for an Aston Martin??

$336 per month! For 3 years! Hell, my cell phone bill is almost there. That's 10 trips to McDonalds every 30 days. That's affordable for even a lowly high school teacher like myself!

But don't worry, all you GC lovers, I'm keeping my Coupe to have fun with on the weekends; I'll be tossing it around on the local mountain roads for at least another 6 years.

I detailed her this weekend so she would know I still loved her, and she still looks like new. (I'll stop with the somewhat creepy gender-biased personifications now).

Okay, let the flames begin. Heap scorn on my sorry ass for selling out to comfort and opulence - I don't mind.

Because my trunk opens automatically and yours don't.
 
Last edited:

Genentec

Registered Member
341
0
0
336 a month plus tax ? and how much down ? anyone can get 336 a month if they put enough down payment. cmon man your missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.

I posted this over at Genesis Coupe.com:

Well on February 27, 2016, after owning my 2010 3.8 GT Coupe for almost 6 years, I succumbed to the dark side and became the proud lessee of a 2015 3.8 Ultimate Genesis Sedan.

Holy guano, Batman...the car drives itself! It steers itself! it stops itself! It flashes a Bat signal on the ground as I approach it! and if I download the right app, it'll do my taxes by April 15th (OK - I'm kiddin' about that last part).

The ride is supple, like Olga Korbut on steroids. The door closes with a whispered "thunk", as opposed to my Coupe, whose closing door emits a "clang" like slamming the hatch on a submarine. The steering wheel is covered in unicorn hide, as soft as Elle Macpherson's left hiney cheek. The 8 speed automatic transmission shifts like it's stirring honey. The list of painful metaphors could go on for a while.

3 months ago I would have never thought I would drive such a plush "old man's car" as the GS, but then I realized 3 things:

1) I am an old man! At 57, if I was ever gonna get a luxury barge... er, car, I'd better make it now, before I retire and have to live off of cat food on crackers and baked beans.

2) Despite my eligibility for AARP, I have 2 monstrously tall teenage kids (13 & 14 years old) whom I have to pick up from school, and lately (since their last growth spurt) they have been fighting over the seating arrangement in my Coupe - the loser gets the rear package shelf...er, seat.

3) The February lease deals on left over 2015 Genesis sedans were incredible and not likely to be seen again in my lifetime.

Apparently there's not a huge number of people who want to spend $50K on a Hyundai, despite all the glowing reviews favorably comparing the Genesis to Lexus GS, Beemer 5 series, Audi A6, and MB E class, so:
a) the discounts were astronomical (almost $10 grand on my car,
and up to $15 large on 5.0 V8s),
b) the "money factor" (car salesmen-ese for "interest rate") was
dirt cheap, near 2%, and...
c) the car had been sitting on the lot for almost a year, so the sales
manager was so eager to sell it that he threw in the "stealer
prep" package (nitrogen in the tires, window tint, miraculous
molecular fusion paint sealant, etc.) that is worth (so they say)
$1995, for free!

They were so ready to get rid of the thing that I made the entire sales force dance the Macarena on the show room floor, and had the GM push a peanut with his nose around the used car lot. I'm so ashamed, but in a gleeful way.

On top of all that I finagled a set of all weather floor mats for zero, zilch, nada dolores! I'm such a cheap bastidge! Word has gotten out, and now car salesmen flee at my approach, like cockroaches from a flashlight. (Sorry for the comparison, all you "auto procurers" out there).

So how much, you ask, is it for this post-modern, technological marvel that has often been mistaken for an Aston Martin??

$336 per month! For 3 years! Hell, my cell phone bill is almost there. That's 10 trips to McDonalds every 30 days. That's affordable for even a lowly high school teacher like myself!

But don't worry, all you GC lovers, I'm keeping my Coupe to have fun with on the weekends; I'll be tossing it around on the local mountain roads for at least another 6 years.

I detailed her this weekend so she would know I still loved her, and she still looks like new. (I'll stop with the somewhat creepy gender-biased personifications now).

Okay, let the flames begin. Heap scorn on my sorry ass for selling out to comfort and opulence - I don't mind.

Because my trunk opens automatically and yours don't.
 

Aquineas

4th Genesis
SUSTAINING MEMBER
3,592
601
113
Georgetown, TX
Genesis Model Type
Genesis G70
Very entertaining read! Welcome to the dark-side indeed!
______________________________
 

Nick R

Registered Member
83
0
0
I posted this over at Genesis Coupe.com:

Well on February 27, 2016, after owning my 2010 3.8 GT Coupe for almost 6 years, I succumbed to the dark side and became the proud lessee of a 2015 3.8 Ultimate Genesis Sedan.

Holy guano, Batman...the car drives itself! It steers itself! it stops itself! It flashes a Bat signal on the ground as I approach it! and if I download the right app, it'll do my taxes by April 15th (OK - I'm kiddin' about that last part).

The ride is supple, like Olga Korbut on steroids. The door closes with a whispered "thunk", as opposed to my Coupe, whose closing door emits a "clang" like slamming the hatch on a submarine. The steering wheel is covered in unicorn hide, as soft as Elle Macpherson's left hiney cheek. The 8 speed automatic transmission shifts like it's stirring honey. The list of painful metaphors could go on for a while.

3 months ago I would have never thought I would drive such a plush "old man's car" as the GS, but then I realized 3 things:

1) I am an old man! At 57, if I was ever gonna get a luxury barge... er, car, I'd better make it now, before I retire and have to live off of cat food on crackers and baked beans.

2) Despite my eligibility for AARP, I have 2 monstrously tall teenage kids (13 & 14 years old) whom I have to pick up from school, and lately (since their last growth spurt) they have been fighting over the seating arrangement in my Coupe - the loser gets the rear package shelf...er, seat.

3) The February lease deals on left over 2015 Genesis sedans were incredible and not likely to be seen again in my lifetime.

Apparently there's not a huge number of people who want to spend $50K on a Hyundai, despite all the glowing reviews favorably comparing the Genesis to Lexus GS, Beemer 5 series, Audi A6, and MB E class, so:
a) the discounts were astronomical (almost $10 grand on my car,
and up to $15 large on 5.0 V8s),
b) the "money factor" (car salesmen-ese for "interest rate") was
dirt cheap, near 2%, and...
c) the car had been sitting on the lot for almost a year, so the sales
manager was so eager to sell it that he threw in the "stealer
prep" package (nitrogen in the tires, window tint, miraculous
molecular fusion paint sealant, etc.) that is worth (so they say)
$1995, for free!

They were so ready to get rid of the thing that I made the entire sales force dance the Macarena on the show room floor, and had the GM push a peanut with his nose around the used car lot. I'm so ashamed, but in a gleeful way.

On top of all that I finagled a set of all weather floor mats for zero, zilch, nada dolores! I'm such a cheap bastidge! Word has gotten out, and now car salesmen flee at my approach, like cockroaches from a flashlight. (Sorry for the comparison, all you "auto procurers" out there).

So how much, you ask, is it for this post-modern, technological marvel that has often been mistaken for an Aston Martin??

$336 per month! For 3 years! Hell, my cell phone bill is almost there. That's 10 trips to McDonalds every 30 days. That's affordable for even a lowly high school teacher like myself!

But don't worry, all you GC lovers, I'm keeping my Coupe to have fun with on the weekends; I'll be tossing it around on the local mountain roads for at least another 6 years.

I detailed her this weekend so she would know I still loved her, and she still looks like new. (I'll stop with the somewhat creepy gender-biased personifications now).

Okay, let the flames begin. Heap scorn on my sorry ass for selling out to comfort and opulence - I don't mind.

Because my trunk opens automatically and yours don't.

Welcome to our dark side........did you know that if you flip your trunk mat over, it is weatherized on the other side? 😎
 

AustinTX

Registered Member
324
4
18
Austin, TX
Very well written waz, I enjoyed every word of your post. I wish I was back in school and had a cool teacher like you (but then, at almost your age I probably don't want to go back to school again).

Enjoy the vehicle, we deserve all the comfort we can get when we reach ages close to retirement :)
 

waz

Registered Member
Thanks for the kind words, AustinTX, Aquineas, and Ace350.

Genentech is pretty sharp - I did put $3k down, but the $336 includes taxes.

Nick R. The car came with Michelins, and yes, I did know that about the trunk mat.
______________________________
 

Bblktrk4me

Registered Member
Fortunate enough to be on both the "dark side" and "other side".

I have a '13 Track Coupe AND a'15 AWD Ultimate. The OP is right...considerably different animals. Sophistication versus Visceral. Hard to believe they share the Genesis name and Lambda 3.8 block. I enjoy them both a lot. Just need to pick the right vehicle for the journey at hand. Interstates dictate the creamy sedan. Two lanes and back roads dictate the rowdy coupe.

Viva la Differance!
 

Genentec

Registered Member
341
0
0
ya pretty lame for them to call the coupe a genesis when its not even a coupe version of the genesis itself.

but I hear they will be making a legit luxury coupe.


Fortunate enough to be on both the "dark side" and "other side".

I have a '13 Track Coupe AND a'15 AWD Ultimate. The OP is right...considerably different animals. Sophistication versus Visceral. Hard to believe they share the Genesis name and Lambda 3.8 block. I enjoy them both a lot. Just need to pick the right vehicle for the journey at hand. Interstates dictate the creamy sedan. Two lanes and back roads dictate the rowdy coupe.

Viva la Differance!
 

tmf2004

Registered Member
Congrats and great post...
 

Dai Uy Ted

Registered Member
SUPPORTING MEMBER
361
195
43
Titusville FL
Genesis Model Type
Genesis G80 Sport
ya pretty lame for them to call the coupe a genesis when its not even a coupe version of the genesis itself.
Unique attitude. Corvettes and Malibus are both Chevrolets, yet you seldom hear Malibu owners complaining about Corvettes being called Chevrolets. Chevrolet is a division of General Motors, and Genesis is a division of Hyundai Motors. Note the names are capitalized, not generic.
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