gipp
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Grass Roots New Wire Services: Dateline: Panama City, Panama October 31, 2008
A Nightmare For Korean Industrialist Hyundai
In unconfirmed reports it seems that the Korean cargo vessel that was seized by South Korean Pirates on October 10th in the Gulf of Aden off the coast of Somalia more than a month ago was carrying a shipment of cars for the Korean industrial giant Hyundai destined for the United States. Officials in Seoul say the crew of eight South Koreans and 14 Myanmar citizens were being picked up by a U.S. naval vessel after being set free earlier Thursday.
Foreign Ministry spokesman Moon Too-Young declined to say whether a ransom had been paid.
The South Korean cargo vessel was hijacked by Somalia pirates on Sept. 10 in the Gulf of Aden — one of 29 ships hijacked this year off the African coast. The latest is a Philippine bulk carrier seized in the Gulf of Aden on Wednesday. Also being held off the coast is the MV Faina, a Ukrainian ship carrying tanks and other heavy weapons. U.S. warships have surrounded the Faina while ransom negotiations drag on in a move to prevent the weapons from falling into the hands of insurgents.
Meanwhile the fate of the 1843 Hyundai Genesis 4.6 luxury sedans onboard seems to be uncertain and clouded in a sea of both political and industrial subterfuge. Senior Hyundai officials have officially replied no comment in regards to questions about their contributing to the pirate ransom demands. One official was heard saying off the record that Hyundai internal security has determined that the pirates were being paid and funded by the Lexus Division of Japanese automotive giant Toyota and as such that Hyundai officials refused to give into the ransom demands. When reached for comment, Lexus senior press official Pum Pkin- Head said “ Obviously Lexus is very concerned that Hyundai has brought a superior car to market at a 40 % discount but to think that we would ever stoop to that level is just monsterous” . USA official Michael Meyers merely moaned and grunted when questioned about this bizarre story.
Consequently, in the US market Hyundai is facing serious challenges due to the inability to bring these cars to market. A highly touted, and for Hyundai, unprecedented $80 million dollar advertising campaign is in progress while dealers, especially in the Northeast part of the country, have no vehicles to sell. Senior Hyundai USA representative Franc-Kens -Tien has claimed this is a marketing disaster with chilling consequences as both first time luxury car buyers and luxury car swappers are flooding both dealerships and Hyundai customer serve lines with inquires as the why the company would launch such a marketing campaign without having any cars to sell. Quotes Franc-Kens -Tien “This is a bloody marketing massacre”. Senior US automotive consultant Freddy Kruger states that the long term effect on Hyundai attempts to upgrade brand image with the Genesis launch are “dead meat as of now” and that the internal tracking systems and education of the US dealer network in how to properly sell and promote the Genesis is a literal “House of Horrors””.
Somalia, located along the Gulf of Aden, which connects the Red Sea and the Indian Ocean, is beside one of the world’s busiest waterways. When reached for comment German Chancellor of Automotive Economics Abraham Van Hesling opined that the idea of automotive giants hiring pirates to engage in industrial espionage is not unheard of. According to Van Hesling both Mercedes Benz and BMW explored industrial terror tactics involving both the Gulf of Aden and the Panama Canal back in 1983 when they discovered that Toyota was originating a clandestine Rekusasu sedan project. This effort developed into the original Lexus LS, which was the first vehicle to wear the Lexus marquee upon its launch in 1989. At the time senior officials wondered if they could have it appear that Godzilla had sunk a cargo ship destined for the US markets but decided even the gullible US auto enthusiast would not buy that story and decided instead to upgrade the quality of their products.
As for the Hyundai Genesis itself, while winning accolades from the automotive press, the Invisible Man story line is hurting both sales figures and word of mouth advertising. Says Jack Ripper from London” Hyundai will have to pull off a Houdini act to save the launch of the Genesis”. Local Tennessee Hyundai dealer Herman Munster admitted that his dealership was looking forward to some vampirism in regards to sucking luxury buyers away from the marquee brands with the Genesis but candidly admits that “When customers come to our dealership looking for a Genesis it is not Trick or Treat it is just all trick…I have no treats to give them in regard to delivery dates, color options or even if I will get another Genesis on my lot before 2009. That rumor about the last shipment being high jacked off the coast is Somalia is really frightening and it could be the last nail in the coffin as far as the Genesis launch and Hyundai establishing itself as a credible player. This whole thing from the start, the way Hyundai has handled it is just plain spooky”.
When reached for comment celebrities Rob Zombie and Alice Cooper, who both lust for a Black/Saddle V8 Tech simply stated “I thought that jokes like this only happened on April Fools Day, not during the Halloween season. I guess the most ruthless Joker is not Heath Ledger in 2008 after all, it is the dealers who took my deposit money 6 months ago. Yes, the most frightening part of this story is all those who actually thought Hyundai could pull off this automotive Genesis.
Contributing to this article were international correspondents from Transylvania, Wayne, New Jersey, and contributing editors Guy Fawkes, Peter Lorrie, Boris Karloff, Bella Lugosi, Vincent Price, and Gipp. Happy Halloween!!!
A Nightmare For Korean Industrialist Hyundai
In unconfirmed reports it seems that the Korean cargo vessel that was seized by South Korean Pirates on October 10th in the Gulf of Aden off the coast of Somalia more than a month ago was carrying a shipment of cars for the Korean industrial giant Hyundai destined for the United States. Officials in Seoul say the crew of eight South Koreans and 14 Myanmar citizens were being picked up by a U.S. naval vessel after being set free earlier Thursday.
Foreign Ministry spokesman Moon Too-Young declined to say whether a ransom had been paid.
The South Korean cargo vessel was hijacked by Somalia pirates on Sept. 10 in the Gulf of Aden — one of 29 ships hijacked this year off the African coast. The latest is a Philippine bulk carrier seized in the Gulf of Aden on Wednesday. Also being held off the coast is the MV Faina, a Ukrainian ship carrying tanks and other heavy weapons. U.S. warships have surrounded the Faina while ransom negotiations drag on in a move to prevent the weapons from falling into the hands of insurgents.
Meanwhile the fate of the 1843 Hyundai Genesis 4.6 luxury sedans onboard seems to be uncertain and clouded in a sea of both political and industrial subterfuge. Senior Hyundai officials have officially replied no comment in regards to questions about their contributing to the pirate ransom demands. One official was heard saying off the record that Hyundai internal security has determined that the pirates were being paid and funded by the Lexus Division of Japanese automotive giant Toyota and as such that Hyundai officials refused to give into the ransom demands. When reached for comment, Lexus senior press official Pum Pkin- Head said “ Obviously Lexus is very concerned that Hyundai has brought a superior car to market at a 40 % discount but to think that we would ever stoop to that level is just monsterous” . USA official Michael Meyers merely moaned and grunted when questioned about this bizarre story.
Consequently, in the US market Hyundai is facing serious challenges due to the inability to bring these cars to market. A highly touted, and for Hyundai, unprecedented $80 million dollar advertising campaign is in progress while dealers, especially in the Northeast part of the country, have no vehicles to sell. Senior Hyundai USA representative Franc-Kens -Tien has claimed this is a marketing disaster with chilling consequences as both first time luxury car buyers and luxury car swappers are flooding both dealerships and Hyundai customer serve lines with inquires as the why the company would launch such a marketing campaign without having any cars to sell. Quotes Franc-Kens -Tien “This is a bloody marketing massacre”. Senior US automotive consultant Freddy Kruger states that the long term effect on Hyundai attempts to upgrade brand image with the Genesis launch are “dead meat as of now” and that the internal tracking systems and education of the US dealer network in how to properly sell and promote the Genesis is a literal “House of Horrors””.
Somalia, located along the Gulf of Aden, which connects the Red Sea and the Indian Ocean, is beside one of the world’s busiest waterways. When reached for comment German Chancellor of Automotive Economics Abraham Van Hesling opined that the idea of automotive giants hiring pirates to engage in industrial espionage is not unheard of. According to Van Hesling both Mercedes Benz and BMW explored industrial terror tactics involving both the Gulf of Aden and the Panama Canal back in 1983 when they discovered that Toyota was originating a clandestine Rekusasu sedan project. This effort developed into the original Lexus LS, which was the first vehicle to wear the Lexus marquee upon its launch in 1989. At the time senior officials wondered if they could have it appear that Godzilla had sunk a cargo ship destined for the US markets but decided even the gullible US auto enthusiast would not buy that story and decided instead to upgrade the quality of their products.
As for the Hyundai Genesis itself, while winning accolades from the automotive press, the Invisible Man story line is hurting both sales figures and word of mouth advertising. Says Jack Ripper from London” Hyundai will have to pull off a Houdini act to save the launch of the Genesis”. Local Tennessee Hyundai dealer Herman Munster admitted that his dealership was looking forward to some vampirism in regards to sucking luxury buyers away from the marquee brands with the Genesis but candidly admits that “When customers come to our dealership looking for a Genesis it is not Trick or Treat it is just all trick…I have no treats to give them in regard to delivery dates, color options or even if I will get another Genesis on my lot before 2009. That rumor about the last shipment being high jacked off the coast is Somalia is really frightening and it could be the last nail in the coffin as far as the Genesis launch and Hyundai establishing itself as a credible player. This whole thing from the start, the way Hyundai has handled it is just plain spooky”.
When reached for comment celebrities Rob Zombie and Alice Cooper, who both lust for a Black/Saddle V8 Tech simply stated “I thought that jokes like this only happened on April Fools Day, not during the Halloween season. I guess the most ruthless Joker is not Heath Ledger in 2008 after all, it is the dealers who took my deposit money 6 months ago. Yes, the most frightening part of this story is all those who actually thought Hyundai could pull off this automotive Genesis.
Contributing to this article were international correspondents from Transylvania, Wayne, New Jersey, and contributing editors Guy Fawkes, Peter Lorrie, Boris Karloff, Bella Lugosi, Vincent Price, and Gipp. Happy Halloween!!!
