Love my car except for the turbo lag, the miniature glove box, lack of bass in the stereo, lack of a middle rear seat, crappy gas mileage, lack of cup holders, the seat moves back but not forward when you get back in the car, no seat massager as advertised, no way to get rid of the seat belt requirement to make everything work, no spare tire, poorly designed rear cargo system, the round crystal ball thingy doesn't work properly, and that the seats are beautiful but have pressure points
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I'm sorry there's so much you don't like about this amazing car. Here's my views on your points, I don't want this to come off confrontational at all as we all have different opinions about these cars, it's just my point of view of the same vehicle, at least what I've experienced so far. Sometimes I feel that things that are different are different for either an aesthetic or mechanical reason that lost out on the compromise to get that done.
Turbo Lag: I don't gun my car often so I'm not seeing this. I did have to tromp on it the other day to get away from a car that changed lanes the same time I did but didn't notice any lag. It did pretty much leave him in the dust though.
Miniature glove box: I find the center console more than makes up for the smaller glove box that is smaller to keep the aesthetics of the interior as they are with the low dash and slit like a/c vents. I'm sure to do this they gave up a little bit of glove box but tried to give it back in the big center console.
Lack of bass in the stereo: I found that I had to turn up my bass a bit to my liking. About 5 on a scale of 10 worked for me. I also changed the fade a little more to the back.
Lack of middle rear seat: This seat is really no different than the one that was in my ML. The only real difference is that my ML had taken up the center two bolsters from the outside seats making all three less comfortable. And this one keeps the center bolsters with the outer seats making them a lot more comfortable. When I have to have 5 people in the car I usually opt to take the center back seat so they have a great ride and I can have the tiny seat for a short ride to lunch or dinner. If I needed a 5 seat all the time I don't think I would have chosen this particular car, it's width isn't wide enough for three shoulder to shoulder adults all the time especially on long trips. I think part of this is also because the seats are heated and cooled so to do that with the full seat the bolsters had to go with the outsides seats in the middle otherwise you'd only get 3/4 of a heated or ventilated seat on those two seats.
Crappy gas mileage: It's the nature of all
wheel drive cars. They weigh more so they don't get as good gas mileage. I had a Subaru wagon about a hundred years ago and it got low gas mileage like this one it was 4
wheel drive it was the last 4
wheel drive I bought before this one because I rarely use 4
wheel drive so why have low gas mileage all the time if you don't use it. For this one I wanted the bigger engine so I got the All
wheel drive whether I needed it or not. But I knew I would be sacrificing some gas mileage. I also noticed that the gas tank is 4 gallons smaller than my ML was so it seems like I'm getting really low gas mileage but it's really just a smaller tank so it has to be filled up more often.
Lack of Cup holders: There are the same number as were in my ML. There are also two water bottle holders in the door which weren't in my ML.
The drivers seat moves forward but not back: I'm assuming you are talking about the easy exit feature where when you open the door it slides the seat all the way back and down so you can get out easier. Mine does move back into position when I get in. But I have a saved setting for position 1. So maybe that's the difference? As soon as I turn the car on it moves me back into position 1.
No seat massager: Personally I like the Ergo motion stretching. It's more subtle than vibration which might be because of the 3D display needing to see your eyes. If they were vibrating it might not be able to keep up with them. Just a thought.
Not sure about the seat belt requirement: I don't know what this is other than you have to wear a seat belt.
No spare tire: I'm not thrilled about that either but it's the only partial dislike I have. Our other car a Chrysler Van doesn't have one either.
Poorly designed rear cargo system: What don't you like about the rear cargo?
The round crystal ball thingy: I haven't had any issues with mine. What issues are you having?
Seats have pressure points: I have not noticed this. Mine are very comfy even on longer trips.